Super tired and dazed… I want to run out of this classroom and never come back. But I’m here, I’m taking notes, I’m trying. I still don’t know what I feel- but I know it’s not a good feeling. Someone is tapping their fingers and I hear someone yawning and I just want to scream….
It’s like I feel nothing and something at the same time. It’s heavy and dark and thank god I am going to the doctor tomorrow because I need medicine and a plan or something because I cannot live this way I can barely even survive. I don’t know what’s going on or what I feel or why this happened so quickly but I’m scared and no one is listening. My parents, my sisters, even my best friend. My mind isn’t supposed to be this sad and heavy and dark and keep me awake at night staring at fizz bubbles in coke and grazing smooth countertops with fingertips. I am in way over my head, I’m scared, I just want some kind of escape.